Sick day

I will have been divorced for 2 years this coming July and I still find myself explaining my decision making process to my Ex.  Both kids ended up sick this morning.  I made sure everything was ok and told them I would be home early for lunch and for them to go back to sleep.  I then waited until a decent hour and emailed my Ex letting him know that both kids were ill and would not be going to scouts tonight.  His only question was “Are the children home alone?”  My kids are 12 & 15 and were not sick enough to warrant me staying home with them.  Besides I work 8 minutes from my house.  But I immediately felt the urge to explain my actions to him.  To justify what I was doing.  To let him know I am not a bad mother for not staying with them.  I emailed him back letting him know that I was getting my desk in order so I could get home to be with them.  I really did not like doing that.  But I felt it necessary to ward off any accusations or any attempts by him to get the kids to come with him.  I even warned my daughter to not let him in the house if he came knocking. 

Even though I have managed to arrange things so that my contact with my Ex is limited, I am still uneasy around him.  We share custody of our two kids so some contact is inevitable.  I can’t wait for the day that my first thought in dealing with him isn’t “oh gawd what a jerk”.  Or sitting in a kid function and not having my skin crawl.  I know I will get there one of these days.  It will take time though.