Anxiety Attack...Really?

All I can say is anxiety attacks suck.  I really had thought I was over them.  But this morning one came on without warning.  My head filled up with gunk, my ears started ringing, my hands shaking and it was hard to breathe.  I knew exactly what it was and all I could think of was "Why?" 

Ok so I was going to a party today.  Lots of unknown people.  Small talk.  My son was going with me and I was worried if he was going to have a good time.  I really don't do well in large groups.  I feel lost.  I get inside my head and stay there. 

I did the next right thing.  I talked to a friend how I was feeling.  Asked her to just be there with me while I told her what was happening.  Just breathe with me.  It helps.  I cried.  Released emotion.  I breathed.  I calmed down. I laid down and meditated til it was time to go.  I did what I had to do get through it.  Pretty soon I was strong enough to go.

Smile, nod, breathe and laugh at the little kids.  Good food, cold weather, brisk wind with the sun peeking every once in awhile.  Watching son interact with others, recognizing that he is as uncomfortable as I am but like me willing to take a risk and get out there.  Hoping it will get better as time goes on. 

Now I am home, safe but exhausted.  The tension and anxiety is slowly seeping out. My emotions are still unstable..so don't look at me wrong. ( lol)  It was a good day because I had human contact, it was a hard day because I had human contact.  Hopefully the emotional hangover will subside quickly.