Yes, I want it NOW and I want it ALL the time. That peaceful feeling that all is right with me and my world. I have moments of serenity. I have weeks and sometimes even a month where all is good. But inevitably it comes crashing down. Doubts, stress, anxiety and depression. Life... Fortunately these days I have more good than bad. I can take joy in the small things. Like watching the birds discover my feeders. Laughing at the cats as they rampage through the house. Take pride in the fact that I went to the fair by myself. I didn't enjoy it as much this year but I got out of the house and went anyway. I am glad I am Awake. Life is much more interesting these days. I pay attention more to the things and the people around me. I am a better employee. A better mother? Not so sure about that..still having guilt that I am not there all the time for my kids and that I enjoy(a lot of the time) my time away from them. My dreams are more vivid and my meditations are filled with more energy. But there are those times that I feel me collapsing and isolating. This is when I heal, question, lean on, grow.... Not fun but necessary. Forging ahead..it's what I do best.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Serenity NOW....
Yes, I want it NOW and I want it ALL the time. That peaceful feeling that all is right with me and my world. I have moments of serenity. I have weeks and sometimes even a month where all is good. But inevitably it comes crashing down. Doubts, stress, anxiety and depression. Life... Fortunately these days I have more good than bad. I can take joy in the small things. Like watching the birds discover my feeders. Laughing at the cats as they rampage through the house. Take pride in the fact that I went to the fair by myself. I didn't enjoy it as much this year but I got out of the house and went anyway. I am glad I am Awake. Life is much more interesting these days. I pay attention more to the things and the people around me. I am a better employee. A better mother? Not so sure about that..still having guilt that I am not there all the time for my kids and that I enjoy(a lot of the time) my time away from them. My dreams are more vivid and my meditations are filled with more energy. But there are those times that I feel me collapsing and isolating. This is when I heal, question, lean on, grow.... Not fun but necessary. Forging ahead..it's what I do best.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Barb I am concerned about stress and my heart. Heart problems runs in women in my family. The other day I sat outback and just watched birds,trees,wind blowing and felt only in an hour so tranquil. It was the same feeling I would get after sitting on the beach all day. First time that happened and I could have sat there all day. It was a big deal and Im glad to know it's important for me to do this.
ReplyDelete