DIET Should Be Filtered-It's a 4 Letter Word

I have had enough!  I stepped on the scale a couple of weeks ago and got a shock.  I have never weighed this much in my life.  I quit smoking 3 yrs and 7 mo ago and since then my weight has steadily gone up.  But enough is enough.  The first year my doctor said don't worry about it, she wanted me to concentrate on staying off the smokes.  We would deal with the weight gain Later.  Well later is here.  I am miserable enough to make a change.  Finally...  Enough with the bitching and the depression every time I have to buy a size larger.  Enough with averting my eyes when I step out of the shower.  It is time to do something.

My problem is that I know nothing of dieting.  I was always very skinny.  I found some old pictures and at times I appeared skeletal.  When I was younger I had jobs that revolved around food and quite frankly food did not interest me.  Work in a hotel kitchen for a while and you will see what I mean.  During the twenty years of my marriage, I was encouraged to look a certain way. To me dieting was just skipping a few meals and that was that.

Once I quit smoking, I got my sense of taste and smell back.  I remember sitting in the family room and realizing I could smell the coffee in the new can being opened all the way in the kitchen.  It was very enlightening.  All of these new smells and tastes and I found that I like the taste of food.  It is good!

But too much of a good thing leads to where I am now.  Overweight and hating it.  So now I am doing something about it.  I hate, absolutely hate exercising.  I have bought several memberships over the years and paid to not go.  I know that is not the answer now.  Fortunately a couple of friends of mine are into walking right now and we have managed to meet at the track to walk/jog it.  We have been doing it for 2 weeks now and have managed to get up to 2 miles.  It takes us about 40 minutes to walk 2 miles.  So far it is not too bad because we manage to talk and laugh  and sweat our way through it together.  The key word here is together.  At this point I need the companionship while I walk because I don't think I can do this by myself.  One of my friends who is an experienced runner said that after awhile I will be able to do it solo and will come to crave the solitude.  I am pretty skeptical of that but I am still a newbie with all this.

Another thing I am trying is counting calories.  I found an online site, myfitnesspal.com, that I can input all the food I eat and it will calculate the calories and nutritional data.  They even offer an app on my smart phone that I can use to barcode scan in food products.  It makes it so easy to add items to my food diary. I am using my favorite friend google to try to motivate me to continue this.  I found an article from the Mayo clinic about the health benefits of walking and was sharing it with a friend and she just started laughing.  I asked her what she was laughing about and she just shook her head and said I was being Me again.  Analyzing and researching....I laughed and commented that I Had to make this process fun and interesting or else I would fail at it.

I have found several things that are frustrating me.  One-this process is so dang slow.  I am a fan of instant gratification and I want to see results NOW.  LOL.  I mean geez I just walked two miles and I still have this belly lol.  Two-I can't believe how hard it is to find things that are good for you.  Everything is either low fat and tons of sugar or low sugar and tons of fat.  One cup of orange juice has almost 95% of the sugar I am allowed to have.  I can't believe how much sugar fruit has...and it is supposed to be healthy!  Three-the grocery is no help at all in trying to figure out what foods are good for you or are healthy.  It is so confusing and it takes forever to read all the labels.  I am finding it impossible to find a diet that encompasses low calories, low fat and cholesterol, high fiber, high protein and low sugar and get all the vitamins and minerals I am supposed to have.  I am beginning to think the only way to go is pop vitamins and drink water...forget the food...  Oh well, I just keep exploring and experimenting and trying to keep a good attitude about this whole process.

Times Have Changed

I have been driving all over Mississippi lately.  My daughter has two summer camp sessions this month.  Back to Back.  She is having a blast being with kids her age and doing the stuff girls like to do.  Especially with no big brother or parents around.  I am truly happy for her.  I want her to enjoy her summers while she can.  To do new things.

On one of my trips back home from dumping her off, I realized what I was doing.  I was driving all over Ms.  Three and a half years ago I was having a panic attack about driving her downtown.  Now I am printing driving directions and relying on signs to tell me that I am on the right path.  WOW...times sure have changed.  I have learned to fear less.  Oh I still get nervous about stuff.  Like leaving my daughter at band camp with a bunch of high school and college kids.  She has since assured me she is having a wonderful time and is in the advanced flute class which she is thrilled about.  I still get angry, stressed, upset, depressed about all sorts of things.  But what has changed is how I handle these situations.  I know that I have friends who have been through what I am going through and will support me no matter what.  But it is up to me to reach out for that support.  And I do that.

Conquering fears has lead to a freedom to discover new things about myself.  Some I like, others not so much.  I like that I can do what ever I want.  I can take trips, walk out of the house without having to justify why and where I am going. spend my money the way I want to, work hard and laugh hard.  I sure hope it doesn't take my daughter 50 years to figure this out.  I am sure I missed out on a lot of life but I am sure enjoying myself now. Most days anyway. Some days I wish work didn't interfere so much with my personal life but hey I have to pay for that some how....  LOL.